The Australian show “Four Corners” covered IVF this week – I’ve yet to watch it as I want to sit down properly and be able to focus on it. But, the following quote was in the synopsis on the Four Corners’ website.
"Embryos are like mud. You keep putting embryos on the wall of the uterus, eventually one will stick." Fertility Doctor
Yeah – you read right. Apparently our precious little embryos were like mud.
Okay – so I know what this doctor was getting at – they put an embryo in and they hope it will stay. But the analogy shows a lack of understanding and compassion as to what we go through. My embryos were real children to me and still are – they weren’t mud.
I actually felt shocked by this comment and began to feel upset as though this doctor was personally attacking my children (our embryos). I wanted to find out which doctor said this and call them and blast them into realising that they were stupid and uncaring and just plain wrong.
But, instead I tried practicing something I learnt recently – I took a few minutes to determine if there was a judgement that I was making that was leading me to be excessively angry. There was – I made the judgement that nobody should ever make comments like this.
The reality is that there will always be comments such as this. I can’t change that.
I also made the judgement that I needed to do something directly about this comment and make that doctor feel as bad as possible. But I don’t.
These realisations took a bit of the heat out of my anger.
Then I was able to think more clearly about if and what I could do about it.
And now I’m writing this entry to say to anyone who reads it – please consider what you say about IVF, our babies, and us, because words can hurt.
That’s all I need to do for now.