We always thought we would have kids. We started trying when we believed we were ready. A month went by, then two months, six months, a year. Nothing happened.

Something was wrong, but nobody could tell us what - and they still can't to this day. We tried IVF three times but our results were not good. We were devastated.

Eighteen months after our last IVF cycle, we knew we would not be having our own children. And, somehow, we have moved to a life that is much different to the one we thought we'd have.

This blog is about what we do now we know we won't be having children - the thoughts, dreams, realities, sorrows, and joys that have become our new life path.

I hope you will enjoy what I will be sharing, and I hope that if you are at the point where life without children is a reality for you, that you might find some hope and inspiration here.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

How do they do it?

The other night I was feeling very tired. It had been one of those days. We had ants in the kitchen (I mean everywhere in the kitchen!), I had rescued a water hen who was not very well and taken it to a water bird rescue place, my cat, Minerva, had thrown up her breakfast, and I had a sore lower back.

It was 9pm and I hadn’t done half the things I wanted to do. I wanted to finish a short story draft, plus read up on some environmental causes, and I wanted to put sealant around the door sills so  the ants would lose their inside privileges. And I still had to do the dishes.

Life just wasn’t fair – I was tired!

Then I thought about what I would have done that day if I had a little one in tow. It would have been a day filled with nappies, feeding, behaviour correcting, picking up, housework in spare moments, tidying up toys, bathing, plus a desire to do all the things I mentioned above. I couldn’t have said to the kid that I had a sore back and therefore they would have to wait while I rested. Kids don’t come with an off switch.

I look at my friends and I see them caring for their children 24/7 and I sometimes wonder how they do it. I know that they are tired, and I know that sometimes they just want to run away from housework, their jobs and sometimes even their children (for a little bit), but they don’t. When they have a tough day they have to keep on going for their children.

I sometimes wonder how the hell I would have managed. And I give absolute credit to Mums and Dads everywhere.

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