We always thought we would have kids. We started trying when we believed we were ready. A month went by, then two months, six months, a year. Nothing happened.

Something was wrong, but nobody could tell us what - and they still can't to this day. We tried IVF three times but our results were not good. We were devastated.

Eighteen months after our last IVF cycle, we knew we would not be having our own children. And, somehow, we have moved to a life that is much different to the one we thought we'd have.

This blog is about what we do now we know we won't be having children - the thoughts, dreams, realities, sorrows, and joys that have become our new life path.

I hope you will enjoy what I will be sharing, and I hope that if you are at the point where life without children is a reality for you, that you might find some hope and inspiration here.

Thursday, January 21, 2016


I haven’t written an entry for a while. I had an editing job come through that has taken up a lot of time (lucky I enjoy it!), and I’ve been tired…

And I’ve also had a case of PMS – otherwise known as “Poor Me Syndrome”.

I have been feeling down, feeling that the world is unfair, that nobody likes me – everybody hates me, that the problems of the world are unfixable, that the human race is doomed so why bother trying, etc. etc. Basically I’ve been in a place that everybody in the world finds themselves at one time or another.

I’ve now kicked my own butt and I’m feeling much more positive.

So – what’s happening at the moment?

Next Thursday I’m headed into hospital for day surgery. As my regular readers will know I have had trouble with heavy bleeding every month that has led to me having anaemia. I tried a hormonal thing that didn’t go well and was then referred to a gynaecologist. I saw the brilliant Dr Singla just before Christmas and was given some options to think about and talk about with Kirby.

I will be having a uterine ablation and a bilateral tubal ligation, which hopefully will really help with the bleeding, and thus the tiredness, and thus me being able to live the life I want to.

I’m really excited about how I may very well be after the surgery. I have plans of what I’m going to be doing (I will be easing into things slowly though) including starting Aikido, resuming bike riding, and doing more sewing.

But, I’m nervous as anything about the surgery (especially the anaesthesia). I’ve been under anaesthesia before, but the last time I was under the full one was when I was sixteen. I’ve only been under light general anaesthesia since then (once to remove a ganglion from my wrist and the other times for egg collection during IVF).

I guess it’s normal to be nervous. There are things that can happen under anaesthetic – but then there are things that can happen just by crossing the road too.

But, I cross the road a lot – I don’t go under anaesthesia that often (thankfully!).

Well – if you, my lovely readers, could send me positive vibes across the air waves on Thursday that would be brilliant, and I’ll let you know how it all goes.


BentNotBroken said...

Sending good vibes your way! I think it's completely normal to be nervous (says someone who's never been under general anesthesia). I can't wait to hear how it goes and how much better you feel!

Also, I may be a tiny bit jealous that you get to have an ablation. :)

Mali said...

Good luck for the operation. I don't love anaesthesia, simply because I hate coming out of it. But it's worth it. Since my hysterectomy, life is so much easier. The heavy bleeding I had been experiencing was crippling, and I just love not having to worry anymore.

I will send good vibes across the Tasman for you today, and every day this week!

Kate Bettison said...

Thank you so much Mali and BentNotBroken - I can feel the vibes!! Only two more sleeps and the day will be upon me. I'm keeping myself very busy writing and doing housework so that Kirby is not left having a lot to do in the two weeks I can't do much...

Why are you jealous about the ablation BNB? I may have missed something... I know! It's because I get to have a lazer thingy which may well turn me into a super hero - is that right? :-)

Love you guys xxx

loribeth said...

I'll be thinking of you too! For the longest time, I was never one to wish away Aunt Flo, but I am 55 now & I think she has REALLY overstayed her welcome!! Several friends have had oblations done & rave about them... I've always thought, "Oh well, it won't be much longer..." but month after month Aunt Flo's final exit seems to be dragging on....! :p I hope this will give you some relief!

Kate Bettison said...

Hey Loribeth - sorry it took so long to publish you're comment. I think it really is going to help me to have more energy - I'm looking forward to even trying mountain biking!!! xxx