I am feeling quite hurt and angry just at the moment.
I first wrote about “Wear a Star” day over two years ago. I was so thrilled to find a movement which I could be a part of that would give me a way to honour our babies. The day was for people who had lost children, including, I thought, people who were unable to have children.
I bought a beautiful, antique brooch especially for “Wear a Star” day on the 12th of April that year, 2012. I also wore the brooch the following year, and up until today I had every intention of wearing it this coming Saturday. This post was going to be about "Wear a Star" day and how important it was to me.
|My star brooch|
I just looked at the Facebook page for “Wear a Star” and I noticed that there was no mention of people who are unable to have children and it is also run by a Christian organization – The R Project. I don’t recall any religious organization being involved in the first “Wear a Star” day, although I might have just missed it in the details. The wording on the Facebook page and the website of “The R Project” is certainly more religious based.
I am sitting here feeling really unsure and confused. I am not overly religious and I don’t hold the same beliefs as the organization behind “Wear a Star” day and that they promote as important to “Wear a Star” day. Therefore, how can I be a part of the day now?
Also, my children only got to the point of being a “bunch of cells” (I hate writing that), but they were the closest I ever got to my children. I was never clinically pregnant, but when I saw those little beings flickering with life on the screen at the IVF clinic, just before they were transferred into me, I fell in love. Whatever they were to be was already there – hair colour, eye colour, gender, tendencies toward certain interests and hobbies. Would they be messy like me? Would they love computers like Kirby? They were real – they existed.
But they are now no longer worthy of being remembered on “Wear a Star” day.
That really hurts. I have to think about all of this…