We always thought we would have kids. We started trying when we believed we were ready. A month went by, then two months, six months, a year. Nothing happened.

Something was wrong, but nobody could tell us what - and they still can't to this day. We tried IVF three times but our results were not good. We were devastated.

Eighteen months after our last IVF cycle, we knew we would not be having our own children. And, somehow, we have moved to a life that is much different to the one we thought we'd have.

This blog is about what we do now we know we won't be having children - the thoughts, dreams, realities, sorrows, and joys that have become our new life path.

I hope you will enjoy what I will be sharing, and I hope that if you are at the point where life without children is a reality for you, that you might find some hope and inspiration here.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Wear a Star Day – after thinking for a day…

After yesterday’s blog entry I did a lot of thinking about “Wear a Star” day and how it seems not to include infertility anymore.

Before I wrote the blog entry I put a message on the “Wear a Star” Facebook page asking why changes were made to the day to become more religion based and to no longer include infertility. I received a response from a woman, which was:

“Don't feel excluded... Wear a Star for any little angel baby you want to represent  And its not about "religion" its just about loving people the way Jesus did... unconditionally and whole heartedly  So WEAR a STAR proudly because ALL are WELCOME!!!”

I really appreciate this comment. My fear, as often comes along, is that my loss of my babies is considered unimportant in relation to people who have had miscarriages or lost a child after birth. The loss of my babies is different to losses through miscarriage or the death of a child, but it is my pain. The comment by this woman has brought me back to realizing that other people do understand that I grieve for my children.

And with regard to mentioning Jesus – I do believe that Jesus was one incredible person with a deep heart and soul, and with a true understanding of love. So, to love like Jesus did doesn’t have to be religious – it just means to strive to care for one another and show compassion. I like that.

I’ve also realized that it is up to me and to Kirby how we remember and love our children. They are our stars when the night is dark. They shine for us.

So, tomorrow I will wear the star for my babies with love for them, with compassion for everyone who has lost children, and to honour all the babies and children who were taken too soon.

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