We always thought we would have kids. We started trying when we believed we were ready. A month went by, then two months, six months, a year. Nothing happened.

Something was wrong, but nobody could tell us what - and they still can't to this day. We tried IVF three times but our results were not good. We were devastated.

Eighteen months after our last IVF cycle, we knew we would not be having our own children. And, somehow, we have moved to a life that is much different to the one we thought we'd have.

This blog is about what we do now we know we won't be having children - the thoughts, dreams, realities, sorrows, and joys that have become our new life path.

I hope you will enjoy what I will be sharing, and I hope that if you are at the point where life without children is a reality for you, that you might find some hope and inspiration here.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Compassion for a dove…

I haven’t posted much this year…actually I haven’t posted at all. 2015 has not started well for us in many respects, and we are facing many struggles, but, as I promised last year, I will write posts when I can.

Today’s is all about doves…

There is a pair of beautiful Spotted Turtle Doves who arrive at our house every spring. They build a flimsy stick nest on the top of our pergola and then share the incubation of the eggs for around two weeks.

Every year I will find eggs on the ground with dead chicks in them. We have been here for three springs and there have never been any live chicks born to the pair.

 I often go out and look at whomever is in the nest and they look back at me with those bright little eyes and I wonder if they know that I too have never brought a baby into this world. I often sit and shed a few tears for them and for me. I keep hoping, every time I see that they have returned, that this will be the year when they have little ones.

I’ve read somewhere that less than five percent of all birds make it to adulthood, and I know nature is harsh. Still, I feel for the pair. Do they grieve for their babies? Do they wonder why not them when they see other doves feeding their young?

I think they know I'm writing this as one of them is out cooing in the nest right at the moment. I think I will go and see them and hope that they know I love them and feel for them so very deeply.

The doves' nest...

Beautiful bird...