We always thought we would have kids. We started trying when we believed we were ready. A month went by, then two months, six months, a year. Nothing happened.

Something was wrong, but nobody could tell us what - and they still can't to this day. We tried IVF three times but our results were not good. We were devastated.

Eighteen months after our last IVF cycle, we knew we would not be having our own children. And, somehow, we have moved to a life that is much different to the one we thought we'd have.

This blog is about what we do now we know we won't be having children - the thoughts, dreams, realities, sorrows, and joys that have become our new life path.

I hope you will enjoy what I will be sharing, and I hope that if you are at the point where life without children is a reality for you, that you might find some hope and inspiration here.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

A Gift from Hugo...

Kirby and I spent Tuesday with my sister in law Zoe and Hugo. Hugo was asleep when we arrived and so we proceeded to have lunch and chat away. I was making coffee when Hugo emerged from his bedroom and trotted down the hallway. He looked at Kirby and walked by him, then looked at Zoe and walked past her, and then he came up to me with his arms upstretched to be picked up. Of course I picked him up and he snuggled in while he slowly woke up properly.

Sometimes I get a little jealous of other people when their children only want them. When, at the end of the day, their child will go home with them and have bath time and story time. I think that it will never happen for me with a child, because I don’t have a child of my own.

Well, Hugo has taught me that it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way. For that moment I was the most important person and the one that could offer him the comfort and security that he was seeking. It was really special.


marigold said...

I love this post, it is so precious :)

Kate Bettison said...

Thanks Marigold...I just can't believe he is going to be four next week! The other day at my birthday party all the kids were running around having a great time and making a lot of noise. Hugo stopped at one point, held his hands out like he was doing the warrior pose from yoga and said "everybody just calm down." x