This week Kirby and I attended the funeral of my Aunty’s father. He was a lovely man – very kind and patient and full of good humour. The funeral was beautiful. Two of my cousins spoke and it brought tears to many an eye. I was really proud of them – they are strong and intelligent men and very much take after their Grandfather.
The chapel was full of people who loved my Aunty’s father – children, grandchildren, friends and extended family. It made me think – who will be at my funeral? I won’t have children and grandchildren to talk about me and how my life has influenced them. It made me feel sad. Will there be anyone to see me off? Will there be anyone to say I’ve been a positive influence on their lives and that they will miss me?
It was easy to sit back and do a bit of self-pitying, but then when I thought about it seriously I realised that there are children in my life and that they might very well be the ones who care about me and attend my funeral. What I need to do is to continue to care for them and to be an important part of their lives. My nieces and nephews are as close to my own children as I will get, but they will only care enough to be at my funeral if I give them all I can of me.
So, enough self-pitying for me and I need to get my butt into gear and show my babies how much I care for them. And I do. I love Hannah, Ella and Hugo. I also love Jessica, Amelia, Oscar, Oliver and all the other children who may not be related to me, but I would give anything to protect.
Perhaps this sounds like a bit of dreary post – talking about my own funeral – but really it makes me think about truly living. And I plan to be living for a long, long time yet. I want to be the crazy old cat lady at 70 or 80 dancing at my babies’ fiftieth birthdays…
1 comment:
Go for it Kate, be true to your self and the rest will follow. Love is not restricted to blood relatives or family.
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