I am feeling quite hurt and angry just at
the moment.
I first wrote about “Wear a Star” day over
two years ago. I was so thrilled to find a movement which I could be a part of
that would give me a way to honour our babies. The day was for people who had
lost children, including, I thought, people who were unable to have children.
I bought a beautiful, antique brooch
especially for “Wear a Star” day on the 12th of April that year, 2012.
I also wore the brooch the following year, and up until today I had every intention of wearing
it this coming Saturday. This post was going to be about "Wear a Star" day and how important it was to me.
 |
| My star brooch |
I just looked at the Facebook page for “Wear
a Star” and I noticed that there was no mention of people who are unable to
have children and it is also run by a Christian organization – The R Project. I
don’t recall any religious organization being involved in the first “Wear a
Star” day, although I might have just missed it in the details. The wording on
the Facebook page and the website of “The R Project” is certainly more
religious based.
I am sitting here feeling really unsure and
confused. I am not overly religious and I don’t hold the same beliefs as the organization
behind “Wear a Star” day and that they promote as important to “Wear a Star”
day. Therefore, how can I be a part of the day now?
Also, my children only got to the point of
being a “bunch of cells” (I hate writing that), but they were the closest I ever
got to my children. I was never clinically pregnant, but when I saw those
little beings flickering with life on the screen at the IVF clinic, just before they were transferred into me, I fell
in love. Whatever they were to be was already there – hair colour, eye colour,
gender, tendencies toward certain interests and hobbies. Would they be messy
like me? Would they love computers like Kirby? They were real – they existed.
But they are now no longer worthy of being
remembered on “Wear a Star” day.
That really hurts. I have to think about
all of this…
No comments:
Post a Comment