The Australian show “Four
Corners” covered IVF this week – I’ve yet to watch it as I want to sit down
properly and be able to focus on it. But, the following quote was in the
synopsis on the Four Corners’ website.
"Embryos are like
mud. You keep putting embryos on the wall of the uterus, eventually one will
stick." Fertility Doctor
Yeah – you read right.
Apparently our precious little embryos were like mud.
Okay – so I know what
this doctor was getting at – they put an embryo in and they hope it will stay.
But the analogy shows a lack of understanding and compassion as to what we go
through. My embryos were real children to me and still are – they weren’t mud.
I actually felt
shocked by this comment and began to feel upset as though this doctor was
personally attacking my children (our embryos). I wanted to find out which
doctor said this and call them and blast them into realising that they were
stupid and uncaring and just plain wrong.
But, instead I tried
practicing something I learnt recently – I took a few minutes to determine if
there was a judgement that I was making that was leading me to be excessively
angry. There was – I made the judgement that nobody should ever make comments
like this.
The reality is that
there will always be comments such as this. I can’t change that.
I also made the
judgement that I needed to do something directly about this comment and make
that doctor feel as bad as possible. But I don’t.
These realisations
took a bit of the heat out of my anger.
Then I was able to
think more clearly about if and what I could do about it.
And now I’m writing
this entry to say to anyone who reads it – please consider what you say about
IVF, our babies, and us, because words can hurt.
That’s all I need to
do for now.
