We always thought we would have kids. We started trying when we believed we were ready. A month went by, then two months, six months, a year. Nothing happened.

Something was wrong, but nobody could tell us what - and they still can't to this day. We tried IVF three times but our results were not good. We were devastated.

Eighteen months after our last IVF cycle, we knew we would not be having our own children. And, somehow, we have moved to a life that is much different to the one we thought we'd have.

This blog is about what we do now we know we won't be having children - the thoughts, dreams, realities, sorrows, and joys that have become our new life path.

I hope you will enjoy what I will be sharing, and I hope that if you are at the point where life without children is a reality for you, that you might find some hope and inspiration here.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Educating daughters...

Today I drove by the all-girls’ school that I dreamed we would send our daughter to – if we had had one.

It put a little smile on my face imagining her in her brown and blue jacket and brown and tan striped skirt heading into school ready to learn all sorts of amazing things. I like to think about what extra-curricular activities she might have been involved in – arts, debating, music, outdoor activities, or environmental conservation. Who knows what she would have been interested in!

One of my work colleagues from years ago went to this school and it was from meeting her that I began to admire it. My colleague was outgoing, intelligent, unique, and the school had encouraged her to pursue her interests and not just go and get whatever university degree and get whatever job. She is now overseas working as a senior lecturer in the area that is her great love and joy.

It seems to me that the school works hard to encourage their students to be themselves, to pursue their own interests, and not to get bogged down in what anyone says they “should” do.

I would have wanted my daughter to have every opportunity to follow her dreams and not do something just because “society” said she should. I would have wanted her to have a fulfilling life with many adventures of her choosing.

This school would have helped my daughter to be all she could be while staying true to herself.

I like to imagine that and to picture her starting off as a little girl, going through primary school, growing into a young woman, and then moving off into the world. I would have loved to see what she would have done and become.

Chances are I will never set foot on the grounds of this school without a daughter.

And in reality it is doubtful we would have ever gone there even if we had a daughter – the fees are quite considerable!

Still – it’s nice to think about how, in a perfect world, my daughter would have had the perfect education.

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