We always thought we would have kids. We started trying when we believed we were ready. A month went by, then two months, six months, a year. Nothing happened.

Something was wrong, but nobody could tell us what - and they still can't to this day. We tried IVF three times but our results were not good. We were devastated.

Eighteen months after our last IVF cycle, we knew we would not be having our own children. And, somehow, we have moved to a life that is much different to the one we thought we'd have.

This blog is about what we do now we know we won't be having children - the thoughts, dreams, realities, sorrows, and joys that have become our new life path.

I hope you will enjoy what I will be sharing, and I hope that if you are at the point where life without children is a reality for you, that you might find some hope and inspiration here.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Garden update…

The blog entry on the 19th of August last year was about different ways of being creative. My biggest creation in life was going to be our children, but I have now found other ways of being creative. These outlets don’t replace the children we could have had, but they do provide a way for me to be creative in my life in other ways.

One of these ways was to redo our front yard. I had plans to have it all finished by last September (the beginning of our spring). It would have a fake creek bed, indigenous plants and new bark to cover the dirt and keep the water in the soil as much as possible.

But life decided otherwise.

We have done some work, but I had had problems with my feet since last May and they got progressively worse over the next few months to the point where walking and standing was painful. So, the garden had to be put aside.

I was angry about the situation for a while. It seemed that life was going to throw another obstacle my way to prevent me creating something beautiful. Fortunately I found a foot clinic that does not use surgery or orthotics and they have been able to significantly reduce the structural pain in my feet.

I have another issue where my feet feel like they are burning, and none of the specialists I have seen have been able to work out what is wrong. My neurologist has given me new medication in regards to my epilepsy (I started to have a new type of seizure a few months ago) and one of the benefits of this is that it helps with pain as well. My feet aren’t perfect now, but I can walk, I can bike ride again, and I can garden!

I have been very fortunate and now only have to deal with a small amount of pain – which I am learning to cope with.

So, now my garden is up for some digging and planting and weeding…I can’t wait!

These are some photos of where we are up to, and I promise to update you on our progress.

Life hasn’t allowed me to create children, but I am creative none the less.

The start of the creek bed
Another view of the creek bed

Black Anther Lily
Pig face

Knobby club rush

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